I bought Microsoft’s Windows XP Crocs, and I have opinions

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Microsoft Windows XP launched in the fall of 2001. Crocs followed in 2002. There may be some history I’m missing here, but I didn’t anticipate an intersection of the two.

And yet here I am writing this review, having impulsively purchased a pair of Microsoft’s limited-edition Window XP “Bliss” Crocs, a special collaboration for Microsoft’s 50th anniversary celebration. (I was encouraged to do this by my PCWorld colleagues, apparently I’m not immune to peer pressure, even at my increasingly creaky age.)

I’ve never been a Crocs person. I’ve never owned a pair. People have raved about their comfort, but I walk through city streets and prefer full-coverage shoes.

Obviously, you can get much better value from buying a standard pair of Crocs, if you only want them for normal wearing and comfort. Classic clogs cost $50 retail with a rainbow of colors to choose from.

But add on Jibbitz charms, and well, you get to about Microsoft’s cost of $80 for these sandals.

So is it worth the nostalgia factor to get this particular set? Uh, well…

Microsoft Windows XP Crocs: Performance

Willis Lai / Foundry

I’ve been writing tech reviews for over a decade. Video game reviews before that. I need to talk about how products live up in the real world. So, here we go.

This limited edition is based on the Classic Clog model. If you’ve owned a pair of such Crocs before, you can skip this part.

Positives: The perforations let your feet breathe, despite the plastic build. The optional strap does make the fit more secure (to my surprise, after years of disappointment with women’s slingback sandals). And the soles are surprisingly grippy. On the linoleum tiles at the PCWorld office, I tried sliding my feet around and they did not budge from where I stood.

Cons: Zero arch support. These shoes are a relief from stiff, unyielding shoes (they are the anti–dress shoe on multiple levels), but long-time wear was fatiguing for my feet.

Other notes: These only come in whole sizes. I got very lucky that the size I chose ended up perfectly fitting my feet. (Truly perfect—no gap at the back, and comfortably so.) These shoes are also wide, so they may not be well-suited to slim feet.

Would I own a pair of Crocs after this experience in a normal color? Probably not, since I want more support and prefer a fully enclosed shoe for wandering around San Francisco. But if I had to score the shoe, it’s a solid 7.5/10 for me. 8/10 for anyone who doesn’t need arch support.

Score: 7.5/10

Microsoft Windows XP Crocs: Aesthetics and quality

I have to say, I’m kind of disappointed in this branded merch.

The look feels cheaper than I expected. The iconic Bliss wallpaper reproduction on the shoe ends up having a low-resolution vibe, with an almost smeary effect. 

It’s likely the wallpaper photo exceeds the capabilities of Crocs normal print process because the company’s own pattern variations like marbled or leopard print fare a bit better. Still. A bummer.

Also, with how zoomed-in the picture is on the shoe, you can’t really tell it’s the Bliss wallpaper. One person in the office even made this comment to me unprompted, when I was tromping around. Someone else said you’d have to know the original source to catch on to what it’s supposed to be—and without the custom Jibbitz, it would be even harder to guess.

Speaking of Jibbitz—that brings me to the saddest part about these shoes.

I was most excited for these charms when I placed my order. They really sold the whole nostalgia vibe… or so I thought from looking at pictures on the online product page. I didn’t expect fancy enamel pins, but I also didn’t expect accessories that look as if someone printed stickers on an old low-grade, low-resolution inkjet printer, then applied them to a plastic backing.

Willis Lai / Foundry

Even more of a bummer: The choice of icons represented. I have so many questions. Why no Microsoft logo from that era? How is the oversized arrow more iconic?! Why remind us of Internet Explorer’s reign of terror? Why that particular folder icon? It looks like a manilla blob! Why no love for Windows Media Player?

(Will Smith, PCWorld contributor, dryly noted that he thought this collab was spearheaded by a young person trying to capture what they felt represented Windows XP. Personally, my money’s on “the result of voting by committee.”)

That said, I enjoy the inclusion of the MSN butterfly. Not only is it very clearly dated to that era, but it also reminds me of a time when someone was definitely a certain kind of person if they used MSN Messenger. (IYKYK.)

Also, I’ve had fun wearing these Crocs with my AMD and Intel-branded socks, because my sense of humor runs that way. Is it ugly? Yeah. Could I probably get away with it better by wearing the Intel socks, which are white-and-blue and go a little better with these Crocs? Sure. But I’m still favoring the black AMD socks in honor of my Athlon 64 X2 build, which is the first system I ran Windows XP on.

Score: 4/10

Final thoughts

Willis Lai / Foundry

I’m a sucker for nostalgia-based merch. (Hi, I’m writing this review.) But I would’ve expected higher quality from this collaboration, especially given the standard set by Microsoft’s ugly holiday sweaters.

Speaking of: Microsoft, you’d probably make money if you re-released some of those. I’d be open to picking up a Windows XP one to combine with these Crocs.

But really, the Windows nostalgia merch I’m waiting for is a Windows 2000 revisit. So perhaps I’m being unfair to Windows XP. I have less room in my heart for fondly remembering on it, even though it was a much appreciated successor to Windows 98.

Overall score: 6.5/10
(You can ask me how I average numbers. I may not respond.)